Everyday, 2.5 million people ride the MRT. That’s 2.5 million potentially pissed off people, morning to night.
Here’s what pisses me off, every single day.
1. Manspreading
When I’m sitting next to you, and you do this like you have gigantic invisible dinosaur balls:
Then you kinda make me want to set your balls on fire and do this:
2. When people #clusterfuck at the door…
You’re familiar with that boiling anger when the door is like this:
but the inside is actually like this:
It just makes me wanna just smash something. Anything.
3. When it stinks in the morning
You know exactly how this happens. The door opens, people walk in. There’s nothing at first, but as the train starts to move and the air inside moves along with it, you start to think you’re downwind from a pig farm.
You really want to react like this…
But you rein yourself in and be all polite like
4. It’s peak hour and you see pole dancers
You see people just leaning on those poles you desperately need to hold on to and they think they’re like
You secretly wish they’ll somehow end up like this guy
5. When people just don’t give a shit
You want to get off the train but everyone just behaves like they’ll die if they don’t get on so they just rush you in the face.
and all you can do is to get bounced around while you mentally cry for help
I’m not Indian.
I’m also not Hindu.
But here’s what I’d like to say about this whole Thaipusam music furore.
I used to work in Little India, more than 4 years ago, when musical instruments were still allowed. I remember crossing the street near Hindoo Road, then slowing down to a halt as I watched the procession go by. I would end up late into my office that day because of that magical feeling I get from watching the procession accompanied with music. It felt magical and there was a true sense of culture, heritage and pride.
Today’s Thaipusam bust-up was not caused, fuelled or otherwise encouraged by alcohol. Today’s conflict is a summation of all that is wrong, a sense of injustice that has finally boiled over.
It is a rejection of the idea that in multi-cultural Singapore, a Chinese New Year Lion Dance ruckus is acceptable, that a Malay Wedding complete with loud drums and singing is alright (Remember how we hounded Amy Cheong?), but a Thaipusam procession is somehow not alright.
So, no.
This isn’t alright. This is not the way we should behave and treat people.
Return the music to Thaipusam.
This one’s a follow up to my last article about ridiculous Taiwanese celebrity names, by popular demand.
1. Pilot Inspektor (Son of Jason Lee)
We kickstart this list with a doozy. Actor Jason Lee named his child “Pilot Inspektor” because he heard a song on the indie rock band Grandaddy’s 2000 album The Sophtware Slump and it stuck with him.
The only thing that’s gonna stick with his son is life-long trauma.
2. Moxie Crimefighter (Penn Jillette’s Daughter)
Actual quote from Magician (and outspoken libertarian in general) Penn Jillette, “Moxie is a name that was created by an American for the first national soft drink and then went on to mean chutzpah, and that’s nice.”
I hope she has enough Moxie/chutzpah to fight the lifetime of name-calling coming her way.
3. Buddy Bear (Jamie Oliver’s Son)
This name is proof that Jamie Oliver is useless anywhere outside the kitchen. BUDDY BEAR was the name his wife chose for their son. She actually said: “I just like the name Buddy, I thought it was sweet.”
What kind of dad let’s his child be called BUDDY BEAR??? I give up.
4. Sage Moonblood (Sly Stallone’s Son)
I like Slyvester Stallone and all, but do you know something else that has blood coming out of it every lunar cycle? Yes I’m talking about periods. I went there.
5. Kyd (David Duchovny’s Son)
No I’m not Kydding you. David Duchovny had zero fucks left to give and decided to name his son, Kyd. Either that, or he was totally high. Also, Kyd really is just a mis-spelling of “Kid”.
6. North West (Needs No Introduction)
You had to have seen this one coming. I just want to know why North? Why not South West, or Journey West, Go West, etc etc etc? Is this one of Kanye’s “concept” names?
7. Bronx Mowgli (Pete Wentz’s Kid)
I have a theory that when Bronx Mowgli was made, it was in a busted-up hotel room and a rerun of The Jungle Book was on TV. Either that, or the couple were making a play similar to David Beckham’s naming of Brooklyn, but fell ridiculously short.
I’ve been wanting to do this one for a while now. I’ve never gotten the naming convention for Taiwanese Stage names. Some of them make zero sense, some have ultra bad spelling and some are just plain wrong. Like the ones on this list…
Show Luo
Okay, so you think you’re really cool. You can also put up a Show. So you decided to just call yourself Show? If you were trying to be smart, you just proved otherwise.
Jam Hsiao
Yes his responds to the call for “jam”. Why someone would name himself after pureed & caramelised fruit is beyond me. Worse still, if you’re going crazy while stuck in a jam, it’s his full stage name. I CANNOT EVEN.
Alien Huang
Really? You’re going to name yourself after an extra-terrestrial being? Is this because you think you’re out of this world? Gimme a break man.
Deserts Chang
She’s not even named after sweet desserts. She called herself a DESERT. Dry, arid and merciless. She doesn’t even project a badass image. No. Just no.
Mini Chang
No relation to Deserts Chang, but just as ridiculous. I wanted to find out if she was really mini in size but her Facebook photos show her as very average in size.
Rainie Yang
This one takes the cake, and eats it in one bite. What the heck kind of spelling is this? Also, why would you want to name yourself after inclement weather when you look like sunbeams radiate from your ass?
I dropped by Kintaro Bento a while back for lunch and I think I found a little gem.
The little restaurant, just down the street from Dojo, was almost full when I got there. I was lucky to get the last single table, quickly served by one of the very friendly staff there.
What I liked about the place was how quickly everything was done. At the same time, I didn’t feel like anyone was annoyed or rushing me into anything. It was a pleasant change from the usual service attitude I was used to.
I asked them for a recommendation, and they immediately gave me an idea of what I should order. The Chicken Soboro Bento, according to them, was one of their best sellers.
Consistent with my earlier experience with the seating, I was quickly served with my bento. The Chicken Soboro is a sweet, savoury treat accented with the taste of pan-fried soy shiitake mushrooms. The rice and miso-marinated chicken soboro would not have made an impact on me if taken seperately but when mixed together, it was rather satisfying.
I also had the chance to sample their Tender Gyudon Bento. The slides of beef were tender as promised, had just enough fat and sat on that same bed of fluffy rice. I loved that the portions were just right, not too much rice and not too little meat. If you like eggs, you’ll also be happy to know that this bento comes with Ajitsuke tamago.
Source: kintarobento.com
As for other items on their menu, the ladies would be glad to know that there’s a low calorie Salmon Bento, perfect for those of you who want to eat lean and clean. I saw quite a few ladies (and guys) tucking into this one.
Source: kintarobento.com
If you’re a carnivore, they’ve also got you covered. The Double Happiness Beef & Pork Bento will end your meat cravings for the day. It’s a mixture of their best selling stamina pork garlic & gyudon and comes with Ajitsuke tamago with runny yolk and the requisite vegetables.
Kintaro Bento is located at 73 Circular Road and is open at the following timings:
MONDAY-FRIDAY 11:30-15:00
MONDAY-FRIDAY 18:00-21:30
SATURDAY Â Â Â Â Â Â 18:00-23:00
What did The Internet collectively do when Facebook and Instagram went down for an hour today? They collectively contributed to the #facebookdown hashtag on Twitter. These tweets genuinely made me laugh:
For example, this genius tweet with all the #win:
This Classic one…
This WAS actually my face when I logged into Twitter
When we realised what was happening, we collectively had a moment like these 2 Bros:
I know some people who would do this…
Because I live my life on Facebook, I may have done this…
I honestly did imagine this would happen…
Of course, Facebook must have been in crisis management mode…
I was able to get my hands on ZA for Men’s Ultimate Moist Hydrating Moisturiser and Deep Cleansing Gel early!
The ZA Men’s Ultimate Moist Deep Cleansing Gel and Hydrating Moisturiser promise to turn dry skin into fresh, moist skin using Hyaluronic acid, an ingredient known for its excellent moisturizing effect.
This cleansing wash and companion moisturiser was specially created for those of us who work in an office environment.
This is what ZA promises with its Ultimate Moist products
I was a little sceptical about the last promise, mostly because I am consistently in an air-conditioned environment and I know exactly how damaging it is for my skin. The ZA Ultimate Moist Cleansing Gel and Hydrating Moisturiser set would have to stand up to long stretches of dry office air and keep my skin smooth and hydrated throughout the day.
When I first used the cleansing gel, I was pleasantly surprised by its “energy capsules”. These mini capsules are filled with Vitamin E and C, formulated to energise skin, giving a refreshing feel when applied to the skin. I think the taurine also freshened up my skin. The best part was that my skin didn’t feel dry after the wash.
I used the companion moisturiser twice a day, once before I go into my office in the morning and once more before I sleep. The moisturiser promises 24-hour hydration, increased radiance and healthier skin. It also absorbs very quickly. I don’t like spending too much time applying things onto my face, so it was nice that the moisturiser was quickly absorbed into my skin.
Besides the fact that there is no hassle, I’m also happy to report that the minty coolness of the facial cleanser also carries over to the moisturiser. While my previous moisturiser has a similar effect, it somehow caused my eyes to water when I applied it below my lash line. ZA’s Hydrating Moisturiser, however, did not give me this problem.
Would I use it again?
This is a definite yes.
After using the set for a week, my skin felt smoother and less dry. That, coupled with the fact that my skin felt refreshed after a quick wash, made all the difference for me.
The ZA Men’s Ultimate Moist Deep Facial Cleansing Gel (100g) will retail at SGD9.90. The companion Hydrating Moisturiser (50g) will retail at SGD12.90. Both items will be available at Watsons from 29 Jan 2015
This article was originally written for Daily Vanity. Check their website out for more awesome articles!
I started snapping and placing my mother’s food on Instagram as part of an effort to help myself and others visualise what is possible with food.
It is about how individual ingredients come together to make something other than simply the sum of its parts. Through food, I wanted to highlight vision and improvisation.
This breakfast is where you see her preferences most clearly. It’s mostly base ingredients, unassuming little items like chestnuts, beetroot, lettuce, jackfruit, cherry tomatoes and even pine nuts.
However, she recognised that in order for everything to come together, the sausage couldn’t just be presented alone. At the same time, she couldn’t spend eons on a special sauce just for a sausage. She improvised (you’ll see it alot in subsequent posts) with an apricot jam from the fridge, made less viscous by a bit of water and heat from the sausage itself.
It was amazing to see the colours on one plate. Of course, when paired with a cup of brewed coffee, it gave everyone a great start to the morning.
The “Boat” is one of her favourite styles of presentation. She took a mix of fruits, arranged them carefully and placed a few meatballs from the night before amongst them.
This one takes a bit more effort and I zoomed in on the muesli balls she made because I thought it was genius. She used honey to hold them together and shaped them into balls. Satisfying to the finish.
This last one is all about presentation. The placement of the greek yoghurt, coupled with the underlying base of an actual chopping board, makes this look like a $20 cafe breakfast. That’s how you make breakfast appealing!
I’ll be sharing more on my Instagram as I go along, so follow me there for more! 🙂
So I came across this article. The gist of it is that SingTel’s chief executive, Chua Sock Koong has once again pushed for legalisation to allow Telcos to charge major Internet content providers – like WhatsApp, Facebook and YouTube – for consumers to have faster access to their content, or consumers will face throttled speeds
She mentioned specifically
“If network owners do not upgrade their network, OTT (over-the-top) content players cannot deliver a good experience to their customers”.
i.e We need more money to build a better network, hence we want to charge these people.
So the premise is that they don’t have enough money to upgrade their network.Â
So, to make this clear:
If Content providers don’t pay extra, consumers face throttled speeds. However much you pay SingTel won’t count for nuts if the Content Provider doesn’t pay SingTel for “faster access”.
What about blogs that have become HUGE? Will SingTel throttle speeds to them as well because they are “Content Providers”? Â What about small companies who want to use Social Media Platforms to market their products? The cost is going to passed to them too, rendering the whole idea of going digital more unappealing.
To be fair, networks are expensive things to upgrade and maintain. But to say they have no money to upgrade their networks is like saying there are no cows in a cow farm.
Here is SingTel’s income statement, found on their website:
Everything is in Millions, by the way
That’s right, boys and girls. Net Profit after tax is about, oh, $3.6 billion, with a very stable underlying net profit for both FY2013 and 2014.
Additionally, the Business Times reported in November 2014 that they had posted a $1.02 Billion net profit, and that’s just for Q2 of their Financial Year.
Yeah. You read that right. It’s just ONE Quarter.
It seems like SingTel’s shareholders, however, would be popping some champagne. As evidenced by this article: “The company had proposed a final dividend payout of S$0.10 per share, bringing the full year dividend to S$0.168. The pay-out translates into a pay-out ratio of 74% and is in line with management’s policy of giving out between 60% and 75% of each year’s profit as dividends”.
Now, let’s look at this statement again:
“If network owners do not upgrade their network, OTT (over-the-top) content players cannot deliver a good experience to their customers”.
I don’t think this is about being unable to upgrade networks. I’m actually beginning to think they just don’t want to until they get their pay day from Content Providers.
In fact, I’m beginning to think SingTel is trying taking us for a ride and that just ain’t right.
Movie tickets are expensive. I’m here to save you some money.
I’m going to say it right now: I’m not going to include some indie movie you’ve never heard of. Also, 50 shades of grey is not on this list. Instead, I’m going to go into movie that both you and I would definitely pay that $10.50 (or $12 or whatever) to sit in a dark room and watch with other possibly annoying human beings. Movies are also not ranked in any particular order.
Chappie
The premise of Chappie is appealing. Chappie is an experimental robot, imbued with Artificial Intelligence. He is built to learn and feel, something that has never been done before. This movie is particularly interesting, considering the era of AI that we’re in, and would be an interesting perspective to how we should view AI.
Sci-Fi/Action movie heavy weights Hugh Jackman and Sigourney Weaver star in this movie directed by the same guy that did District 9, Neil Blomkamp.
Avengers: Age of Ultron
I can hear the groans already. But don’t tell me you didn’t know this was coming. The first Avengers was big and bombastic, this one promises to do it all over again, and them some. Interestingly enough, the movie’s bad guy is also an Artificial Intelligence. Created by Tony Stark, Ultron gains sentience and proceeds to deduce that the world is better off without humans in existence.Perhaps 2015 is truly the year AI goes mainsteam.
Robert Downey Jr. and gang returns, with new additions in the form of Elizabeth Olsen (Scarlet Witch) and Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Quicksilver). This one’s gonna be a HUGE summer blockbuster.
Pitch Perfect 2
In essence, Pitch Perfect is the Step Up of Acapella movies. The only difference is that Step up never had the hilarious Rebel Wilson or the character of Anna Kendrick.
Pitch Perfect 2 is the perfect movie for when you want to switch off and laugh for a bit.
The Imitation Game
This one’s close to my heart, and one of my personal must-watch movies this year. I’m actually thinking of catching this during the weekend. Bendict Cumberbatch plays pioneer computer scientist and renowned mathematician, Alan Turing. Turing was most famous for breaking the encryption of German Enigma Machines and turning the tide of World War 2.
The Imitation Game explores Turing’s life, and shows how even a hero be reviled and hurt by the very people he saved, just for being himself. In this case, Turing was jailed and subsequently chemically castrated for being homosexual.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
If you’ve never watched a single Star Wars movie before, this is the movie to start with. J.J Abrams rebooted Star Trek, lens-flare and all, into an extremely accessible movie while leaving the lore intact. While there has been noise made by fanboys about the cross-guard lightsaber, everything else in the trailer screams “THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT”.
Disney hasn’t disappointed with its Marvel Movies and I hope they won’t fail with this highly-anticipated franchise.
Well, these are my 5 must-watch movies of the year. What are yours?
Then you kinda make me want to set your balls on fire and do this:
5meanders | Easy Reading. 